why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
