i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
