I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
