So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
