a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize