GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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