Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
