There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
