So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
