Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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