I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
