i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
