I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
