it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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