I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
