my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
