You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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