Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
