make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
