Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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