there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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