I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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