Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I cockslap morals
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize