My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Im part way to drunk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
