ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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