We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
