I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
