I heard we made out
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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