Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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