my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize