why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
