I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she told me i tasted like america
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
