I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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