The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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