Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
