Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
