spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
