I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
