I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
