i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
