I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
