You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just pee around me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
