Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
