i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
