are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
