dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
