In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
