I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
