He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
