we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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