good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
