I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
