i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
