Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
