youre lurking in front of me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
