In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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