i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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