CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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