do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
