I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
