So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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