So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
