your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
