I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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