She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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